He doesn’t need a smelly goat living next to his crib. What kind of a gift is that for someone still in the process of developing basic motor skills?! Where are you going to store a freaking goat? Do you live on a farm? If yes, your baby is already surrounded by farm animals. How does this even happen? Do you make your purchasing decisions by closing your eyes and thrusting your finger into a coloring book? But yeah, okay, at least the baby can learn to recognize shapes and-eventually-himself in the mirror. From diamond ring to fancy-sounding mirror. Kind of a letdown after that diamond ring, don’t you think? Way to build up unrealistic expectations and then shatter your child’s fragile mind with this shitty gift. Plus a diamond ring is a definite choking hazard, so this is starting to smell of gross parental negligence. What’s a baby to do with a diamond ring? Sure, it’s shiny, but so is glitter, which has the added benefit of not single-handedly wrecking your entire household economy. Sounds like a really ill-advised present for a newborn. Really went for the top shelf with that one, mom. It’s probably not strictly legal to tame wild bird species, but I’m not a wildlife lawyer, so what do I care. So I guess it’s quite handy for baby entertainment purposes.Īlso, mockingbirds are relatively easy to come by, so that’s always a plus. A mockingbird can mimic other birds and even imitate the sounds of amphibians and insects. A bit of a random present for a tiny baby, but it sort of makes sense. Come, take my hand, and let’s take a look at those lyrics together: Now, as an expert on all things “Hush Little Baby,” I can inform you that the lullaby’s lyrics are basically a smorgasbord of loopy outbursts that hint at the singer’s unraveling psyche. I was vaguely familiar with the lullaby before, but I was surprised to learn that the lyrics actually went beyond “Hush little baby don’t say a word, na na nanana na na mockingbird.” This is how I stumbled upon “Hush Little Baby,” probably one of the most well-known lullabies out there. Luckily, we live in the age of the Internet, so it’s easy to look up lullabies and lyrics online. Granted, he could also simply be pretending to fall asleep whenever I start a song in order to make me shut up. I’m not much of a singer, but it seems to calm my son down. In my case, I have also discovered that I’m into singing lullabies. Once you become a dad, you start to discover new things about yourself, like how your eardrums are built to not rupture from your baby’s supersonic screams.
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